Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Top Ten Notes To My Blogging Self

Just some random thoughts to get down while they are pulsing through my head:

1) You aren't the first person to go through a divorce and you know it. You don't have children that you have to explain this to, or otherwise reconfigure a family. It is really stupid to say, but when Reese Witherspoon announced her divorce, I wished I had her email address. Just to tell her how sorry I was that the demise of her relationship was being used to sell magazines and provide sound bites and was splashed about by the media. How I couldn't imagine compounding the loss of a relationship with the loss of a family. How I could relate to those feelings of sorrow, rage and loss.

2) When you are getting divorced, you suddenly get the sense that everyone is going through something similar. Or at least a lot of people. This is peripherally related to #1. You aren't a unique snowflake, but your pain is nonetheless real and earned.

3) He was never your best friend, at least not in the recent past. You confused the act of being a good friend with a close friendship. Learn from that lesson and from now on, expect the same efforts from your friends that you expend on their behalf. You're completely worth it, even if you don't feel it now.

4) Balance - your mantra was always "in all things balance." Practice what you've preached, cupcake. You're so out of balance and need a realignment. You can do this thing for B without fucking up your alignment if you keep your balance. You won many gymnastics meets because of your performance on the balance beam. Channel that shit.

5) You will never replace this relationship, and that is a good thing. You understand this in random intervals, but you need to understand it intrinsically.

6) You have a support network that is ready, willing and able to offer support. Not using it doesn't make you stronger, it makes you look stubborn, ignorant and petulant.

7) Wine is not a sleep aid, no matter how elusive sleep seems. Exercise works much better.

8) Family -- they have offered you unconditional support. To not accept that support is self-destructive.

9) Remember the five daily goals - write them out and accomplish them, however small.

10) The essence of your character is positive, optimistic and gregarious. You are entitled to step out of character, but don't abandon it. You like who you are, even if your husband didn't cherish it. Fuck him. Your opinion is more important.


IGTF said...


It's good to see you blogging again, BTW.

cornutt said...

You rock -- I forgot how cathartic it can be.

Thanks, girl.

Norm said...

I've been checking every day, myself ;)

Karen Shanley said...

Tape # 6 and # 8 somewhere where you have to read them everyday.