Weekly Round Up

The week's roundup of unrelated thoughts.

Loyalty. I realized that loyalty is what killed B and me. I still don't believe that B would sell me out entirely (and, again, I have no skeletons where he is concerned), but that is probably just optimistic projection. B has sold me out over the past few years by not being the man -- or, better said -- not demonstrating the character -- that he once had. I compromised my loyalty once, and never again. There was that silly Seinfeld episode about "the vault." I subscribe to that newsletter and will not violate it any more than I have in the past. Loyalty, in my most simple definition, is honoring a friendship and relationship after the expiration date. Sure, you may no longer be friends, lovers, etc. But that doesn't give you license to divulge private information you gleaned over the course of that friendship/relationship. It doesn't. To do otherwise is, in my estimation, a complete absence of character. I suspect that those kinds of folks have very superficial relationships. No thanks.

Dating vs. Relationships. Jury is out on this. I don't know how to realign my thinking and am not sure I want to anyway. I would rather love deeply and lose it, rather than have a host of superficial relationships that didn't fulfill me. At the bullseye is my family, who have demonstrated their unconditional loyalty, even when I haven't earned it. In the closest concentric circle, I have a handful of close friends, all of whom would lay down in traffic for me. Moving outward, I have a second, concentric ring of friends on the periphery who would probably do the same, but I just haven't developed those relationships. The third concentric circle is the acquaintances and casual friends. I am lucky to have all of this.

Lindsay Lohan. I want so badly to have sympathy, but she is in the vortex of suck that is the current crop of being famous for being a fuckup, and she courts it. I have no idea why people keep describing her as talented, as she is average in a weak field. You want talented? Robert Downey Jr. She isn't fit to hold his (now not wanted) pipe. Not to be an ass, but LL brought all of this on herself because she is addicted to fame - -seeing her name in print and on TMZ. I still don't think the girl has an addiction to anything but attention whoring. And again, who the fuck would want to be famous? Take a long look at Matt Damon, George Clooney, Reese Witherspoon, Meryl Streep, Susan Sarandon -- the really great actors (ignore the Reese part in that example) - they aren't courting the press by partying out loud. These chicks get off on seeing their mugs on websites and the hits thereupon. I will save my sympathy for folks without an entourage.

Courage. I want and need to know more courageous people. Courage is having the sack to voice concerns directly and honestly, and being able to own the consequences of your actions. I am a courageous person, for the most part. I don't ignore emails, I don't send text messages or emails when a face to face is called for, and I certainly don't hide. I own every fuck up I have ever made. I hold others to that standard and also require my friends -- those I respect -- to have the sack to deal directly. I am allergic to false bravado and weakness, which the internet breeds like rabbits. You have a problem? Sack up and deal with it directly. Hiding in your computer is just bad form and you aren't nearly as tough as you think you are. My inner circle has more courage than most of the internet. Chickenshits in a modem. The new Snakes on a Plane.

Alberto Gonzales. This man was promised a Supreme Court justice position and now, has (at best) a job for a year. If he had a lick of sense about him, he would renounce the current administration and hope for the AG job in the next election. He isn't really a bad guy, just had misguided loyalty to the WH, who sells him out daily. He sucks, to be sure, but he doesn't suck as bad as the WH. He just has no job after 2008, and he signed on, thinking he had a job for life (SC justice).

Next Love. You will need to have a strength of character that far exceeds the Norm. You need to be a MAN. I am 180% female, but a strong one at that, so you will need to be stronger and surer (not possible) of your convictions. I absolutely loathe weakness in character and chickenshitness. You have to challenge me on every level and not retreat if you feel daunted. I want a running partner, to be sure, but someone who has the self-confidence to make and stick to decisions and behave like someone who walks the talk. I cannot respect anything less.

Family. Is there nothing you cannot do?