Thursday, October 11, 2007


She is deserving of her own post.

I met Hilarie in the elevator of our rich bitch girls' dorm. Hilarie is drop dead, stunningly beautiful. Effortlessly. Had I blogged when I knew her then, I would have compared her to Paulina. She had those kinds of features. She also had a caustic wit and a confidence that amped up her attractiveness and her ability to intimidate.

Truthfully, that moment in the elevator, I hadn't met someone so stunningly gorgeous. I was, quite frankly, taken aback. I wish I had a picture to validate my awe, but trust me, she took my breath away. We were introduced by Tiffany, her roommate (more on that), and she asked where I was going. I told her I was meeting some friends to hit a party and, as it turns out, that was where Hilarie was going. She said "cool, I'll walk there with you" and I felt my palms get sweaty. You walk into a room with this chick and you are immediately categorized (at best) as her "kind of cute friend." You simply cannot be noticed while with Hilarie.

[She would hate to know I was spewing forth about her looks, but it is part of the story]

What I remember most about that memorable elevator ride was when I was checking my ass out in the mirror. I was wearing something new and wasn't sure if it looked good. Hilarie caught me looking at my reflection and asked "what?" I said "Oh, I can't tell if these shorts are making me look fat." Hilarie looked me square in the eye and asked "well, are you going to drop ten pounds before the party?" I was momentarily stunned, as I was pretty sure she was telling me I needed to lose 10 pounds. I retorted "no, I already puked up what I ate" (clever, that) and Hilarie laughed and said "well then, let's go have a good time and not worry about your fat ass."

That is Hilarie. In a nutshell.

She and I became fast and close friends. Many adventures were shared, yet some of my favorite moments are of her and I, singing in my car. I became a second daughter to her parents, and later, would often go to the movies with her dad in the middle of the day. Hilarie's family was a mystery to me - so welcoming, yet I felt they were so much warmer with me. In the meantime, Hilarie and I had a whole host of experiences and adventures. She dated Matt Mc's best friend, which is how I came to know and love him, we wrecked motorcycles, crashed many a party, charmed our way into nearly every bar in the city, and developed a friendship that lasts a lifetime.

Funny aside - Hilarie's roommate was Tiffany, who also became a close friend. They might have been the worst matched roommates, and grew to dislike each other as our respective friendships developed. Hilarie couldn't figure out why I would be friends with Tiffany the square, and Tiffany the square (who is anything but) couldn't figure out how I could deal with Hilarie. My friendships with each of them remain some of the most important of my life, but they couldn't have been more different.

I would be remiss if I didn't mention this. Hilarie is also the girl that avenged my honor when I was sexually assaulted in college. She went after him with a bat, albeit with ten guys in her support - most of whom didn't really know me -- and beat the living shit out of a guy who hurt me in the worst way possible. I had barely been able to muster up the courage to tell her, and after she did it (and the fallout therefrom), I was horrified. In retrospect, I am so honored that she cared that deeply. Am also glad she broke his cheekbone.

So years and distance later, Hilarie loses it. Years and years of hearing how gorgeous she was took its toll on her, to say nothing of her own demons. She ended up stealing her roommate's credit card and racking up a hefty bill, then running to me in Seattle. I was just under a year with B and not quite ready to explain the tornado that was Hilarie. She showed up unannounced and we put her up in the boat (that we were then living in) for a week. In that time, she hit on B, stole money from our deli, and video tapes from our favorite video store. I said in an earlier post that I wronged her, and by that I meant I put her on a bus back home. I couldn't or, more honestly, wouldn't deal with her crazy while building something with B. A little part of me died that day as I put my friend on a bus, that I had paid for, hoping I wouldn't hear from her for a while.

Hilarie was never half assed and she went full on crazy. She joined the Navy (seriously, you would have to see her to get the nutty of that) and spent two years in the Middle East. She found her way to the kitchen and taught herself to cook for her peers. After her required enlistment (and one failed marriage), she went to the California Culinary Institute. Last I heard, she has remarried and has a beautiful baby. Her parents left Texas and now live in California.

Hilarie is probably my most paradigm example of friendship. I have no idea how to get a hold of her, but if I did? And, for drama's sake, let's say I called her at 2am, asking her to pick me up at LAX? Yeah, Hilarie would be there in a minute and we would be right as rain. Hilarie is one of a a handful of people I know that I could call in the middle of the night and they would wake up and listen. If I needed $10K tomorrow, Hilarie would find it, one way or the other, as I would for her. In short, Hilarie is the family I have chosen, and family is for life. I haven't spoken to her in over two years, but she is very much a part of my family.

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