Your Moment of WTF

Scene: work, trying to make a deadline, ignoring the cell.

Phone call - check the caller ID, see it is B
(Answer phone - professional issue is at its zenith, am seeking updates and information)
B - am meeting with attorney, need advice and guidance
Me - advice and guidance
B - am nearby, need favor -- need to borrow money, forgot wallet, am meeting attorney
(B makes more than me)
Me - Fine, whatever
(meet in lobby of building)
Me - here, have $, tell attorney what I said, ask if he concurs, good luck, put that money back in my account by the end of the week
B - done, thanks, you look amazing
(me: four hours sleep, disoriented, a little groggy, but recently had facial)
Me - Thanks, I guess. Money back in account by end of the week. Good luck
B - hug, kiss on neck, mumbles something about me being "truly the best"
Me - shakes head, turns on heel, heads to elevator back to office
(phone call)
Attorney - B was just here, explained situation, your advice was spot on. What the hell am I here for?
Me - so I don't have to do this anymore - I am le tired and need a nap
Attorney - don't feel right accepting money for advice already given
Me - you're not being paid for advice, you're being paid to take over my role
Attorney - I can't bill for this and you know why. He doesn't need an attorney, he has one in you
Me - What is it going to cost to have you be the person he calls first?
Attorney - He won't ever do that. He doesn't trust anyone's advice but yours. I'm just confirmation
Me - I will pay you whatever the fuck it takes to become his attorney and relieve me from duties
Attorney - I don't think you have that kind of money
Me - Fuck

Fin

EDIT: Home, phone call


B: Business of the day

Me: Advice on said business

Him: I wish you were the principal attorney on this

Me: I'm glad I'm not. I want your issue to be over so I can move forward. I can't file our divorce papers until that is done.

B: Oh.

Me: I hope, on some small level of introspection, you realize that I am taking one for a 14 year team that no longer exists. That is taking its toll on me.

B: I would never have been this cool with you. I get it.


Fin