tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-346534002024-03-21T09:55:02.848-07:00Emerald City EsquireSometimes you are driving the bus, sometimes you are under the bus. I strive to be the driver.cornutthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12098976203299709317noreply@blogger.comBlogger238125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34653400.post-55769306358675392782008-08-16T05:14:00.000-07:002008-08-16T05:50:25.358-07:00The next chapterI think I quit my job today. It feels like it, as I had an uncharacteristic loss of temper and snapped. Things haven't been good at work for a while. The work itself was bearable, but there was a break between me and my boss. We have a complicated relationship, to say the least, and while it has been mostly good and positive, there was something that happened about four months ago that has cornutthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12098976203299709317noreply@blogger.com40tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34653400.post-17092469356585752652008-07-26T07:53:00.000-07:002008-07-26T08:04:41.642-07:00Once Upon A TimeYou ever just get really mad at yourself for wasting time?I have wasted over four years. I imagine that, should I be blessed with old age, I will look back on years 33-37 as utterly, fucking wasted. Standing still, reacting, not acting, with no clear vision on who I want to be. In the grand scheme of things, four years is a blip. Right now, it is pissing me off.I am mad, and I rarely feel madcornutthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12098976203299709317noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34653400.post-65742655831156038972008-07-26T07:51:00.000-07:002008-07-26T07:52:19.040-07:00YeahI think I am coming back to this.cornutthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12098976203299709317noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34653400.post-5712919455940586672008-04-20T02:33:00.000-07:002008-04-20T03:07:10.488-07:00Rerun, I think.This is probably my last, but I suddenly wanted and need this to be put down into words.This was December of 1988. I had conned my way into graduating high school a year early and I was finally, after years of reading Sweet Valley High books, an American college student. I was at one of the country's largest public universities and finally, fucking finally, a small fish in a huge pond. Exactlycornutthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12098976203299709317noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34653400.post-59518097284354313442008-03-18T23:24:00.000-07:002008-03-18T23:50:44.118-07:00Blog dump.I don't know what, if anything, I am going to do with these ramblings. I will probably nuke it out of orbit, although Google never forgets, but sometimes, I just need to write. And my penmanship sucks.I was on the phone today with an old friend of ours. He was a groomsman at our wedding, I remember talking him off the ledge when his then-girlfriend got knocked up and he wasn't that into her.cornutthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12098976203299709317noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34653400.post-27955228210718814682008-02-17T20:41:00.001-08:002008-02-17T21:14:25.015-08:00The Tentative ReturnWell, wow. Almost a month. It has been too long and yet not nearly long enough.I am embarking on an unplugging project. I don't really know exactly where I want to go, which almost always means I will meander for a while before I figure out the destination, but it means less time online. I am unhappy. Plain and simple. Unhappy with a lot of things and I have done next to nothing to improve cornutthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12098976203299709317noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34653400.post-59548450340863060152008-01-19T03:15:00.001-08:002008-01-19T22:57:28.093-08:00The Upside of RerunsThe Return of Writer Guy!He was, understandably, frustrated with me, and I did little to allay that frustration. To be honest, I was relieved when he backed off, as I didn't have it in me to really get into a relationship, but felt pretty stupid about that. I felt ridiculous every time I told him I wasn't ready for anything substantive between us because I never say shit like that. I hated how cornutthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12098976203299709317noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34653400.post-67233054890857910982008-01-19T03:15:00.000-08:002008-01-19T22:50:02.143-08:00The Upside of RerunsThe Return of Writer Guy!He was, understandably, frustrated with me, and I did little to allay that frustration. To be honest, I was relieved when he backed off, as I didn't have it in me to really get into a relationship, but felt pretty stupid about that. I felt ridiculous every time I told him I wasn't ready for anything substantive between us because I never say shit like that. I hated cornutthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12098976203299709317noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34653400.post-37448380007806642342008-01-16T21:53:00.001-08:002008-01-17T03:10:50.213-08:00Things I Know To Be True5 things I believe:1. Scientology is freaking weird.2. Tom Cruise is delusional beyond any imagination.3. Britney Spears won't make it through the year.4. American Idol is utterly unwatchable. With perhaps this one exception:5. I need a three day weekend.5 things I don't believe:1. Katie Holmes ran the NYC marathon.2. I need the new Mac laptop.3. Project Runway is as engaging as it has cornutthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12098976203299709317noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34653400.post-79716022678320034852008-01-15T20:48:00.000-08:002008-01-15T23:19:34.472-08:00CravingsI am usually a pretty evenly balanced person. I don't get (typically) get depressed, I don't have manic highs, I don't binge eat, and I don't obsess. My mantra has long been "in all things balance." I am comfortable in the middle and not at the extremes.Yet, as I climb out from the rabbit hole, I find myself absolutely craving certain foods. Now, I am prone to burger cravings fairly regularlycornutthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12098976203299709317noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34653400.post-24012536144004100632008-01-14T23:52:00.001-08:002008-01-15T10:16:38.586-08:00Manic MondayGod, I am still pissed off, and that is something, as I cannot sustain anger towards anyone or anything.I am involved in a copyright case that presents truly interesting legal issues and a book that probably only Norm and the P would recognize (Jonathan, Seagull, anyone?), and I am intimately familiar with all of the facts of the case. I am the client's favorite contact, but not her immediate, cornutthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12098976203299709317noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34653400.post-12160083818729508252008-01-13T23:07:00.001-08:002008-01-15T01:03:07.459-08:00Meet the FamilyCrazy, work-all-weekend kind of weekend, which leaves me pissy beyond words on this Sunday night. Nothing positive to say, but I was emailed some pictures tonight from my aunt's fiancee (that sounds so goddamn weird) that perked me up. My aunt Arlene (my best friend and proof of goodness in the world) and brother Kyle (ditto)Arlene and her son, my cousin Justin. Fantastic human beings, and I cornutthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12098976203299709317noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34653400.post-71281026082771895362008-01-09T21:25:00.000-08:002008-01-09T21:59:31.201-08:00Thanks, FriendSometimes, you find friendship and kindness in the most unexpected places. I have a friend who is going through his own painful breakup,and it has been both an honor and an insightful experience to view it from the male perspective. We 'met' under pretty unusual circumstances and have developed a unique but meaningful friendship. Neither one of us are looking for a replacement for loves or cornutthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12098976203299709317noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34653400.post-37438101440953797532008-01-07T21:42:00.000-08:002008-01-07T22:07:44.245-08:00Silver LiningsPerhaps it is just the optimism the permeates a new year - or hell, sometimes just a Monday for me - but I am starting to see more silver than gray. Maybe just saying (or writing) aloud that I have been depressed was an important first step in seeing better shades of gray. I suspect that those closest to me have known for a while that I haven't been me for some time, and to be truthful, I am cornutthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12098976203299709317noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34653400.post-82044479208258009682008-01-07T00:41:00.000-08:002008-01-07T01:08:41.644-08:00The New YearIt is way too easy to make grand resolutions, isn't it? I am going to work out for three hours a day, never drink again, cook more (obviously, not eat anything I cook), clean more, organize better, all of that shit. I'm going to do all of that.But here is what I am really resolving. I am going to work against myself this year. I was fortunate, growing up, in that I wasn't prone to depressive cornutthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12098976203299709317noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34653400.post-48755000788829837622008-01-01T23:48:00.000-08:002008-12-08T13:37:00.383-08:00How To Ring In A New YearThis was, without question, the very best way to welcome in a new year. Congratulations to my brother Keegan, and my new sister-in-law, Elisha. It was, quite frankly, a perfect night.Elisha, walking down the aisle with her parents:Reciting the vows. I should add here that their officiant simply did NOT show up. They had met with him two weeks earlier and went over every detail, yet he no cornutthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12098976203299709317noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34653400.post-79835288976954622492007-12-31T13:19:00.000-08:002008-01-15T21:52:04.233-08:00R.I.P. Marriage, August 6, 1994 - December 31, 2007It is done. I am divorced (ugly word) and single (hopeful word). I met B on Sunday morning at Starbucks. I was all business and he was desperately trying to have a prolonged conversation. He asked me about every member of my family, which is amusing, given how little interest he took in them while we were married. It was kind of sad, I guess, but I was ready. He again (!) asked to come to cornutthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12098976203299709317noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34653400.post-22515315198247055872007-12-25T19:24:00.000-08:002007-12-25T21:50:03.275-08:00Merry ChristmasLast night, I finally got a whiff of the Christmas spirit.True to form, I decided that 1:30pm on Christmas Eve day was the optimal time to start my Christmas shopping. By 3:00pm, I was done and pleased with my choices. It was a positively glorious day in Seattle and my mood lightened. Kyle offered me a ride up, and about 4pm, as dusk settled in, we headed up to Bellingham. It was, quite cornutthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12098976203299709317noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34653400.post-89983583600526739862007-12-20T21:59:00.001-08:002007-12-21T03:11:20.517-08:00Holiday SapOh holy hell, am I having a maudlin kind of night. The kind of night where you know better than to answer or use your phone, and to stay as far away as you can from your email inbox. It is probably inevitable that, at this time of the year, you want closure from whatever conflicts or issues you had during the course of the year. I have plenty of those, most of my own making, and I am a firm cornutthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12098976203299709317noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34653400.post-20554531081616539082007-12-19T21:43:00.000-08:002007-12-20T01:09:53.268-08:00Disjointed ThoughtsIn no particular order:1. My dad just got in tonight from Nigeria and we went to Austin Cantina for dinner, the first time for all of us. As an aside, my parents would eat at Outback Steakhouse, Buca di Beppos, Cheesecake Factory, or any other chain restaurant if I didn't insist on expanding their dining horizons. It just amazes me that after 25+ years abroad, they have absolutely no sense of cornutthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12098976203299709317noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34653400.post-13383571715890100692007-12-18T17:59:00.000-08:002007-12-18T18:30:12.104-08:00St. DickIt is a week before Christmas,And all through my house,Not a present was purchased,I am such a louse.I have always hated shopping. I think that is an accurate statement, although I guess I remember going to the Gap with friends in high school and not exactly loathing the experience. Earlier, when we lived in Saudi, we used to come home to the States once a year, and during that lone month, we cornutthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12098976203299709317noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34653400.post-46755095697447971802007-12-17T18:21:00.000-08:002007-12-17T23:39:37.472-08:00Google ThisAt the end of the year, people inevitably start thinking about how they are going to live life better in the next. We read round-up lists, summarizing the year in closing, and make resolutions for the upcoming one.I started thinking about this little online project. I started it in a state of profound pain. I had finally realized that I was going to file for divorce and end a life than I had cornutthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12098976203299709317noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34653400.post-84256996849538208132007-12-16T14:43:00.001-08:002007-12-16T18:23:29.238-08:00Lessons Learned From My Brother's Bachelor Party1. My brothers are always my favorite people to hang out with. Always. 2. Keegan (groom) likes his dive bars and I dig that about him. Although sometimes, there are slightly jarring sights to be seen:(Yes, that is a very hairy ass, and an arm lovingly wrapped around him and up in his shirt. For every lid, there is a pot.)3. Keegan is still close friends with his buddies from high school, cornutthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12098976203299709317noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34653400.post-17848806766911225702007-12-13T17:26:00.000-08:002007-12-13T17:46:46.579-08:00Passion Fruit or DurianI am in some whacked out, end-of-the-year funk and I cannot seem to shake it. Is it just being anxious at getting some, oh, major life event over done with, gone with? That's surely part of it. Excitement for my brother's wedding? Definitely. Boredom and burnout at work? 180%. Mostly, I think, no, I know, that I created this completely artificial line in my sand, where the old life ends cornutthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12098976203299709317noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34653400.post-11632336114120136962007-12-12T20:03:00.000-08:002007-12-13T00:42:20.533-08:00I Got NuttinTired, burned out, and nothing to say.cornutthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12098976203299709317noreply@blogger.com1